圣民之间的相遇、认识与深交[6月23日专题信息]

专题信息｜圣民之间的相遇、认识与深交

6月23日

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朱志山牧师

经文: 约壹4:19-21；传7:13-24

课题: 人际医治, 基督的身体, 爱, 合一,

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人与人的相遇与认识真的是很奇妙的事。我们一生当中有很多的关系是萍水相逢或是擦肩而过的表面关系，但是有些的关系确实能够改变我们的一生。这如同大卫与约拿单的关系，但以理与三个朋友的关系，或是保罗与提摩太或与亚居拉和百基拉的关系。这些关系都不是源自与亲情，却带来了他们一生的改变与蒙恩。他们因那关系，在神面前蒙受了加倍的恩典，以至在他们一生的时光里活出自己的呼召。有时，我们说不上为什么与一个人会有如此的深交，且会这么靠近的走在一起。有些人说那是时机带来的，有的人说那是两人的个性吻合或适合才发生的，也有人说是环境带给他们相处与认识的机会。没错，时机是重要，两个人的个性也重要，两人有环境能多接触彼此也是一个相关理由，但最终，人与人的认识与关系的发展都是神所带来，而圣经里头最蒙恩的友情都是人与人之间在基督里有一样的信念与价值所带来的。特别，我们现在活着的时代对真实的友情与深交带来绝大的挑战。特别现在互联网带给我们对关系的认识是在与量，不是质。有些人在互联网好像有很多朋友，常常得人的点赞，但没有真实的知己。现在也因为时间的有限，生活节奏的匆忙，很多的关系都是建立在暂时的利益。特别，当我们教会也渐渐壮大，有来自不同背景与拥有不同个性的人进到我们当中，我们要多为这属天的关系祷告。人常常面对的实际问题就是时间与记忆。当教会开始多过差不多一百五十人左右，我们没有时间接触每个人，且无法认识每个肢体的名字和深入理解每个人的背景。试想，当我们几个熟悉的人在一起吃饭时，我们会愿意哪一位肢体跟我们坐在一起呢？那就显示我们与他的关系到达了什么地步。但即便如此，主的劝勉是告诉我们当与弟兄亲热《罗12:10》，且在一起常常彼此和睦，且要能警戒、勉励、扶助众人《帖前:5:13-14》。当然，很多关系的建立是透过时间和时机，但是当我们人生当中在这个时刻走进教会，在真道中与彼此相逢，我们不能轻忽主在这时刻要做的事。有时，我们因听了一篇道而生命改变。有时我们也可能因认识了另一位肢体而生命从此经历另外一个翻转。所以如果我们的生命一直无法突破，自己也认为已经懂了神的很多的话语，那么我们与人的关系是另一个要得突破的。所以，当我们的教会人数在量成长时，我们在质方面要进入另一个突破。另外我们也当在与人的关系谨慎。一个美好的关系也会因着仇敌撒旦的工作得以破坏。有些关系破坏之后成为我们生命中的后患。这如同所罗门得知了神要将十个支派交给耶罗波安之后，不是因自己的罪悔改，乃是继续想杀他《王上11:40》，后来耶罗波安也因此成为了所罗门与他儿子的后患。有时人也因蒙恩的事工遇到分歧，而最典型的例子就是保罗与巴拿巴《徒15:39》。另外，人也因着个性与性别的因素有分歧，如同保罗在腓利比的两位姐妹同工不能同心《腓4:2-3》。纵然这些关系破裂之后都有神的美意在里头，但是关系破裂总是不好。当关系破裂了，人不但要长久的时间修复，我们在灵里面也吃亏。因为我们得不到另外一个人的祝福与代祷。我们不能给自己借口说这些分裂也能带来神美好的计划。神本有无穷的恩典，能够将祸化为福。但是破裂本身是不好的，因为破裂是与人的血气有关系。人的血气使他不能理解、不能等候、不能包容等，而圣经告诉我们血气不能领会（也当然不能成就）圣灵的事《林前2:14》。话说回来，在人际关系的事上，总原则还是我们自己要的医治。有时，我们的快言快语叫人远离我们，有时我们以事工为导向而忽略人的感受，或者我们对人满有要求，或是我们轻视某些软弱的肢体，不然就是我们在面对人时总是有心里障碍。其实，这些都是我们缺乏福音而来的智慧而常落入的人际关系问题。

The meeting between people and the understanding of people is really an amazing thing. There are many relationships in our lives that are causal or surface relationships that just brush by, but some relationships can really change our lives like the relationship between David and Jonathan, the relationship between Daniel and three friends, or the relationship between Paul and Timothy or with Aquila and Priscilla. These relationships are not derived from kinship, but their relationships bring about changes and blessedness in their entire lives. Because of that relationship, they received additional grace before God, and they could live out their calling in their lifetime. Sometimes, we can't say why there is such a deep relationship between us and that person, or how close we walk together. Some people say that it is brought about by timing. Some people say that it is due to the compatibility or fit in the personalities of the two people. Some people say it is the environment that gives them the opportunity to get along and know each other. Yes, timing is important, and the personality of two people is also important. It is also a critical factor that two persons have the right environment to know each other. But in the end, the development of people's understanding and relationship is brought about by God.  The most blessed friendship the Bible talks about is brought about by a common  belief and value in Christ between two persons. In particular, the era we are living in now poses a great challenge to true and deep friendship. The Internet especially gives us an understanding that what matters in relationship is quantity rather than quality. Some people seems to have many friends on the Internet, often receive the “likes” from people, but they have no real confidant. Nowadays, because of the limited time and the busyness and rush of life, many relationships are built on temporary benefits. In particular, as our church grows bigger and stronger, and people from different backgrounds and personalities come among us, we must pray more for this heavenly relationship.  The practical problems people often face are time and memory. When the church begins to have more than 150 people, we do not have the time to interact with everyone, and we do not know all their names or understand each and every person's background. Imagine, when we want to sit together with a group of familiar people to eat with, which brethren would we want to sit with? This will show the extent to which our relationship has been established. But even so, the Lord's exhortation is to tell us to be devoted to one another in brotherly love <Ro 12:10>, and live in peace with each other, encourage the disheartened, help the weak, be patient with everyone <1 The 5:13-14>. Of course, many relationships are established through time and opportunities, but when we enter the church at this moment in our lives and meet each other in the path of truth, we cannot ignore what the Lord is doing at this moment. Sometimes, after listening to a sermon, our whole lives change. Sometimes, our lives also experience another transformation after knowing another brethren. So if our lives are at a stage where we continue not to be able to receive breakthrough and if we also think we have understood much of God's word, then it is our relationship with people that needs another breakthrough. Therefore, as the number of people in our church grows, we must enter another breakthrough in quality. In addition, we should be careful in our relationship with people. A good relationship can also be destroyed by the work of the enemy, Satan. Some strained relationships later become future problems in our lives. This is like when Solomon learned that God was going to hand over the ten tribes to Jeroboam, he did not repent of his sin, but continued to want to kill him <1 Ki 11:40>.  Later, Jeroboam also became the future problems of Solomon and his son. Sometimes, people encounter disagreements in blessed ministries and the most typical example is that of Paul and Barnabas <Ac 15:39>. In addition, people are also divided by factors like personality and gender, just like Paul's two sisters in Philippi who worked together but were unable to agree in the Lord <Phil 4:2-3>. Even though there is God’s perfect will in these broken relationships, it is still not good to have broken relationships. When the relationship breaks down, we not only have to spend long time to get it restored, we also suffer in the spirit. Not only do we not receive the blessing of another person, we also do not get his intercession and partnership. We cannot give excuses to say that these divisions can also bring about God’s beautiful plan. God Himself has infinite grace to turn woes into blessings. But the rupture itself is not good, because the rupture is related to the spirit of the person. The spirit of man causes him not to understand, to be unable to wait, unable to tolerate, etc., and the Bible tells us that the person without the spirit cannot understand (and certainly cannot accomplish) the things of the Holy Spirit <1 Co 2:14>. Then again, in terms of interpersonal relationships, the main principle is still we ourselves must be healed. Sometimes, our quick words made people drift from us; sometimes when we are too missions-minded, we neglect people’s feelings; or we are full of demands on others, or we despise certain weak brethren, or we always have barriers in our hearts whenever we face people. Actually, these are the interpersonal relationship issues that we often fall into when we lack the wisdom that comes from the gospel.

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