之一：神将幸福与活泼的原理放在一个家[5月1日家庭的原理]

家庭的原理｜之一：神将幸福与活泼的原理放在一个家

5月1日

家庭信息

朱志山牧师

经文: 创1:27-28; 2:8; 2:4-25

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在人的社群中有各种关系都有可能会瓦解，但唯有一个家庭的关系是分不开的。家庭成员之间的关系能够淡化，甚至产生敌意，但成员之间心灵的结合是分不开的，因为那是从神命定的一男一女的一体关系开始。所以，当人勉强要分开（夫妇要离婚，儿女不孝敬父母，甚至离家），他是直接离开神所创造本有的幸福。纵然有时人在暂时的痛苦会说：“我离婚更好，我离开我父母更开心、更自由，但这都是一种向真理说谎的情感，并非真意。所以，当家庭的单位一出现问题时，人不会说我讨厌我的家。他只会说“我的家没有幸福”，而当人这么说的时候，那类的痛苦是比在地上遇到的各种的失败挫折更加深切。所以，在我们聆听有关家庭方面的信息之前，让我们认定主所命定的，重视主所重视的。倘若我们曾经失败过，让我们承认那是我们的罪所带来的；倘若我们其他家庭成员不愿意接受真理的塑造，让我们成为家庭的祭司长，先看重真理，也看重神所设立的家庭单位，以至能开始为家庭祷告；倘若我们知道（真理）却没有能力做到，让我们相信与依靠圣灵的能力来使我们重新有心、有感、有智地理解与帮补家人，使自己的家恢复伊甸园里的幸福喜乐，将荣耀归给神。首先，我们要知道上帝按着自己的意思创造一男一女，使他们成为一个家《创1,2》。借着他们的结合，神要成全祂永远的计划，得着众子民。 因此，这一男一女不能单像牲畜一样交配繁殖，他们的结合里必须带出神的慈爱、公义、美德、善意等。因此，神为一个家定出了必要的原理。例如：夫妇怎么相处、儿女怎么养育、家庭的方向要怎么往着荣神益人来建立，这都是永存与切实的真理。我们绝不能离开那个原理来寻找幸福。但在此，我们一定要明白原理是固定的原则，但家中的亲情是活泼的，家中的成员是带着心和肉在一起相处相爱。所以，一个家中的幸福在于我们既【不丢弃原理】，也同时进入【活泼的原理】。所以首先，我们要恢复：① 对家庭原理的体感。确实上，丈夫为妻子牺牲是带给他更大的能力，妻子顺服丈夫是叫她更加的自由，也引发她女性里的贤惠的美德。父母按着主的心意养育儿女，教导儿女如何爱主，渐渐会得见孩子成为自己的喜乐与力量，神的恩惠也时常伴随他。这是都能也需要体感的祝福。在此，我们不要带着动机来做，乃要因真理而做，也切切地确认真理所体现出来的实际幸福。人不单要按着原理行，也要往着对的感觉来确认。然后，我们要恢复：② 借家庭原理的发展。家庭的关系、幸福、吸取的经验、所结的果子是继续有无限发展的潜能。两人的相爱与相处的经历包含祝福万民的通道与见证。在此，我们不要一直关注家庭生活的失败，反而要发展。有时家庭成员在相处的摩擦中，父母儿女都吸取宝贵的属灵功课。有时家庭里有一些漫长的问题，其实我们仍旧要发展，将此问题化为祝福认的通道。在一个堕落的世界里，有时除了积极的见证，人也需要知道我们在苦难中靠主的见证，例如：怎么从失败的婚姻里走出来、我们如何为儿女的叛逆背十字架。倘若不发展，神为家庭定的原理就自然会被视为一种定罪的律法，使家庭有问题的人看不见希望。最后，我们要恢复：③ 家庭原理的救赎意义。福音本是救赎性的，讲说神拯救罪人的事实。圣经明确告诉我们在人最亲密的关系里特别有仇敌的工作。这仇敌是叫一个家庭远离神而偷取他们的幸福的恶者。因此，神也将拯救彼此的意义放在一个家庭中。为何说拯救呢？因为有罪的人没有一个是完美，有时丈夫需要将妻子从软弱试探中拯救出来，妻子需要将丈夫从血气或无力中拯救出来。神赐下真理，也叫人在自己最亲密的关系中活出提醒与帮补的意义，甚至必要时也需要教训与管教（特别父母对儿女）。特别，家庭里有权柄系统，妻子在丈夫权柄之下，孩子在夫妇权柄之下。这都是家庭原理中带有保护与拯救的功用。所以，我们在此会晓得神为家庭定的原理并非死板，乃是带有活泼的生命与能力在里头。事实上，人离开原理而活是属灵问题，活不出原理中的精神也同样是问题。愿主使我们领会祂为家庭所定幸福与活泼的原理。

All kinds of relationships in a human society may disintegrate, but only the relationships within a family can never be broken apart. The relationship between family members may grow cold, or even develop into enmity, but the spiritual union between the family members can never be separated. This is because it originated from the God-instituted relationship between one man and one woman. Therefore, when they are separated forcefully (couples divorce, children unfilial or even leave home), they have directly departed from the blessings that God has originally created. Although sometimes, in the midst of sufferings, in the heat of the moment, one may say, “it will be better if I’m divorced, I will be happier and more liberated when I leave my parents”, but these are all lies spoken by our emotions, and not our true intentions. Therefore, when problems are surfaced in a family unit, people do not say that they hate their family. He or she would only say, “there is no bliss in my family”. However, when a person says that, the pain that is experienced is deeper than any other setbacks one can encounter in the world. Therefore, when we are listening to messages about family, let us acknowledge what God has ordained and value what God values. If we have once failed, let us admit that it is due to our sin; if our other family members are unwilling to be shaped by the truth, let us become the high priest of the family and first focus on the truth and focus on the family unit God has instituted so as to start to pray for the family. If we know (truth) but do not have the power to do it, let us believe and rely on the power of the Holy Spirit so that we may regain our heart, emotions and wisdom to understand and help our family members. Doing so will restore the blessings and joy of the garden of Eden in the family, and glorify God. First, we must know God, in His will, created one man and one woman, and made them into a family <Gen 1,2>. Through their union, God wants to fulfill His eternal plan, win over His people. Thus, this man and woman cannot simply mate and multiply like animals do, their union must bring out God’s loving kindness, righteousness, virtues, good intentions, etc. Hence, God sets essential principles for a family. For example, how should a husband and wife live with each other, how to raise children, how can a family’s directions be set to glorify God and edify others? These are eternal and practical truths. We can never find bliss apart from these principles. At this point, we must know that although the principles are fixed, the family ties in a family is dynamic, members in the family live together and love one another in their hearts and in their flesh. Therefore, the bliss of a family depends on us “not abandoning the principles” while at the same time “be lively”. Therefore, we must restore: ① The spiritual sense towards the principles of the family. Actually, when the husband sacrifices for the wife, it gives him greater power, when a wife submits to her husband, she has greater freedom, and it arouses her feminine virtues. When parents raise their children according to the will of the Lord, teach them to love the Lord, they will slowly see their children becoming their joy and strength and the grace of God will follow them. These are blessings that can and must be sensed. In these, we must not do out of our own motives, but do it for the truth, and really confirm the practical blessings that are manifested by the truth. Man must not only act according to the principles, but must also confirm with the right feelings. After that, we must restore: ② through the development of the principles of the family, the bliss of relationships, joy and experiences of the family, the fruits it bears has the potential to develop infinitely. The love between two person and their experience living together contain the channels and testimonies to bless all nations. In this area, we must not keep focusing on the failures of family living. Instead we must progress. Sometimes, when there are frictions between family members, parents and children must both learn valuable spiritual lessons. Even when there are prolonged problems in the family, we must still progress, to transform problems into channels to bless others. In a fallen world, besides positive testimonies, others also need to know testimonies of how we rely on God during our sufferings. For example: How to overcome failed marriage, how to bear the cross for my children’s rebellious nature. If we do not progress, the principles God instituted for the family will naturally be seen as law that condemns, and those with family problems will not see hope. Lastly, we must restore: ③ The salvational purpose of the principles of family. The gospel is inherently salvational and speaks of the truth that God saves sinners. The Bible clearly tells us that even in the most intimate relationships, there is the work of the enemy. This enemy is the evil one who draws a family away from God and steals its blessings. Therefore, God puts the purpose of saving each other in a family. Why do we need salvation? Because everyone is a sinner and is not perfect. Sometimes a husband needs to save his wife from weaknesses and temptations, a wife needs to save her husband from his carnality or helplessness. God gives us the truth, and also calls us to live out the purpose of reminding and helping each other in our most intimate relationship. In some instances, we may also need to teach and discipline (especially for parents towards their children). In the family, there is a system of authority. The wife is under the authority of the husband, and the children are under the authority of the parents. These are meant to protect and save in the principles of the family. Therefore, we must know that the principles that God sets for the family are not rigid, but they are living and powerful. Actually, when man lives apart from the principles, it is a spiritual problem. It is a similar problem when people cannot live out the spirit of the principles. May the Lord help us comprehend the blissful and living principles God has set for the family!

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